Sorry, Pope Francis, but…..

I am not kissing any feet tonight. No thanks. Can we talk about how feet are gross? And with every passing year, people’s feet are getting huge. Even the high school kids that come to Holy Thursday have size 12’s or 13’s. It is like washing a moose hoof!

Why didn’t Jesus wash hands on Holy Thursday. Hands are pretty cool. Little water, little soap. Next.

No, Jesus had to wash feet—men’s feet—stinky, dirty, and gross. Feet spend all day in socks and shoes. And my knees. My poor knees. Oy vey! I have to put those knee pads they use for gardening, and then after washing 12 feet I still struggle to stand up.

And they ask, “Father, so you want us to take off both our shoes and our socks?” Haha. Ummm……do you like passing a kidney stone? No. Please, no. 24 feet? Twelve feet are bad enough.

Feet feet feet. Why can’t I just say Mass and take Jesus to the chapel and the altar of repose. Incense. Check. Humereil veil. Check. Bare feet of 12 guys. Check. Oh, and the deacon is sick, so I’m washing them all myself. Check. 

But. Hale no, I ain’t kissing those feet. Ain’t gonna happen. Ain’t.

What a life! And it is yours, oh priest of Jesus Christ! LOL